Learn Grandparent, romance & charity
Lesson
Grandparent, romance and charity scams
Scams that work on your heart: a grandchild in trouble, an online friend in a crisis, or an urgent appeal after a disaster.
What it often looks like
"Grandma, it's me. I'm in trouble and need bail money. Please don't tell Mom."
An online friend you've never met in person suddenly needs money for an emergency.
"Disaster relief: every donation is matched today only. Give now."
How the scam works
- These scams use love, kindness and worry to get you to act before you think.
- In grandparent scams, a caller pretends to be a grandchild (or a lawyer or police officer for them) and asks for money quickly and secretly. Some use details from social media, and voice-cloning technology can make a voice sound familiar.
- In romance scams, someone builds a relationship online over weeks or months, always has a reason not to meet or video chat, then has an emergency.
- After disasters, fake charities use names that sound like real ones and push for immediate donations.
Red flags
- Being asked to keep it a secret from the rest of the family
- Urgency: money needed today, right now
- Payment by gift card, wire transfer, cash courier, cryptocurrency or payment app
- An online friend who can never meet or video chat, then needs money
- A charity you've never heard of, pressure to give now, or a "match" that expires today
What to do instead
- Hang up and call your family member on the number you already have for them. Or call another relative to check.
- Agree on a family "safe word" ahead of time that a real relative would know.
- Never send money to someone you have only met online.
- Give to charities you choose yourself, through their own website. You can check a charity at Give.org or CharityNavigator.org.
- It's always OK to say "Let me call you back" and talk to someone you trust first.
If you already clicked, paid or shared something
It happens to careful, smart people. Acting quickly helps most.
- Contact the bank, wire service or gift card company you used, right away, and ask them to stop or reverse the payment.
- Talk to someone you trust. These scams fool careful, smart people; there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
- Report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. For romance scams, also report the profile to the dating site or app.
Remember: Real emergencies survive a phone call to check. Secrecy plus urgency means stop and verify.
Check or report
- Report fraud to the FTC: ReportFraud.ftc.gov
- Report internet crime to the FBI: ic3.gov
- Check a charity: Give.org (BBB Wise Giving Alliance)
AARP's free Fraud Watch Network Helpline (877-908-3360) will also talk you through what to do, whether or not you're a member.